How do i get rid of my bum hair?

hi, my name is doris and i'm 93 and i come from texas. i got a problem cos i got so much hair on my derriere that i can comb it into a middle parting and a plait. now, how do i get rid of this unfortunate thing - beautiful as it may be, i'm starting to get tired of constantly sittin on a hair tie and buying combs specially for that area. please help me. thankee yee and god bless all mankind. except dustbin ladies.